Friday, December 3, 2010

Time to get it out....

It's been awhile since I've sat here and put some words on the screen. So many things going on right now that I better get some of it out of my head. LOL. There is a curse from the old country it says "May you live in interesting times." Well I'd say that's exactly what we're in right now. Can you believe that the hearings are going on and the repeal of "Don't ask, Don't tell" could happen before the new year. That is if the Republicans will let it go through. I find it extremely interesting that the biggest argument against it comes from John McCain. The one who would have been president if he had a running mate. (Don't get me started on Sarah "I can see Russia from my backyard" Palin) It seems the biggest fear on this is that some flaming queens will be on the frontlines the day after this policy is repealed and gays can serve openly in the military. They seem to forget that it's not gonna change a few basic things. You still have to enlist, you have to make it through Basic Training/Boot Camp. You still have to meet the standards and pass all the training. Take it from a guy that served his country honorably it's not gonna be the end of civilization they are trying to make it sound like.

You volunteer to serve your country for many different reasons. The pay is prolly the last thing that motivates you to join the military. I was listening to a talk radio show and they were discussing this issue. Many of the callers into the station that were against the repeal seemed to think that suddenly there would be guys making out all over post. In front of the barracks and flaunting their sexuality in front of 'decent, upstanding, christian soldiers. (Trust me this is the underlying feeling). There are standards and 'rules' that every soldier must follow, gay or straight. There are regulations governing 'Public displays of affection', and every other argument these people raise. Do you really think that once gays can serve openly that these regulations will go by the wayside??? Do you really think that Anarchy will reign supreme??? You've never been there and you'll never understand if that's what you think. Men and Women serve in the same units today and it's not an all out sex fest. Come on people it's 2010.

Ugh it's just really frustrating to argue against such stupidity.

So on to other topics. Had an interesting thing happen the other night. Was sitting at the computer surfing around and I saw that J signed on to Yahoo. Figured I'd say 'Hi' as we hadn't talked in over a month. Well we ended up talking for almost two hours. The upshot of it all is we're gonna meet up for dinner tomorrow. I'm not sure exactly what I'm feeling about this one. Back when it all kinda blew up many issues were brought up, and he told me I should think long and hard about things. Maybe not the best advice for me, or should I say he should be careful of what he wishes for cause he just might get it. I do know that there are some parts of me that aren't gonna change. A couple of those things are things he definately wanted me to change. I'm tough, I'm strong, I'm pretty independent. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but I do like my life and think I'm doing pretty well. I got here by my own two feet and no one can take that from me. We will see how things go over dinner and take it from there.

It was funny at one point while we were chatting on yahoo he asked where we were.... and I answered "Friends, I guess". That's where he left it, and I left the ball in his court. I realized awhile back that I never heard from him unless I sent the first txt. So I decided to just not send that first txt and see how long it went til I heard from him. After three weeks I was pretty sure that I'd not hear from him again. Ah Interesting times.....

Christmas is upon us and the best gift for me will be having family and friends together to celebrate the season. I've got all the 'presents' I need. I'll decorate the house soon and be ready for the big day. Yes I'll get a live tree for the house. Nothing smells better to me than that fresh cut pine decorated with lights and the ornaments that bring nothing but memories.

Looking ahead to the end of Feb and another celebration of my arrival here on this planet. The trip to Vegas is planned and will secure the flights and hotel in the coming weeks. The deals are there to be had, it really is a magical place. A grown ups play ground. This year Darrell, yes THAT Darrell, will be meeting up with Chris and I in Vegas. We're doing a week and I'll get to explore outside of the strip. Trips to Hoover Dam, Red Rocks and whatever else we decide. One day will be spent with Darrell and I in our "I love Las Vegas" t-shirts doing the tour of the strip. Hitting all the hot spots, fountains at Belliagio, Volcano at Mirage, etc, etc. Expect many of the 'tourist' type photos of us hitting the spots and having fun.

Well that's it for now. Thanks for reading. {*****************************} HUGZ to you all!

Monday, October 4, 2010

You've heard by now

About the Freshman at Rutgers college that jumped off a bridge after his roommate put up a video of him making out/having sex with another guy. I remember last week when I heard the quick blurb on the radio about it. The first thoughts in my head were 'he was gay'. Before I knew anymore details this I knew. If it had been a straight guy he would have pulled the 'Macho' card and been high fiving all through the dorms.

My calendar says 2010. How much longer will shit like this go on? When will those that are 'different' from the 'All American boy' mold be able to live their lives? For all the strides the gay community has made. For all the families with two moms or two dads, the thousands of us that are living our lives out and free, there are still the numbing number of cases like this. A boy finally free from his home town, who can start exploring life and finding his path through it. He took his own life because of the cruelty of his roommate. It was a 'joke', it was a 'prank'. Yeah pretty fusckin funny one there, a young man is DEAD.

Even in this day and age getting that courage to come out and be who you are is pretty tough. We are not cookie cutter images and our paths are not all the same. It's scary there in the closet. You KNOW what you are and you KNOW that no one will understand and you will be shut out of the only lives of people you know. I've been there, I've done that. It's really not that bad. You beat yourself up inside your own head more than anyone that truly loves you will.

Because of this, and because of the countless other stories I'll never know I strive to live my life and show others that you CAN be who you are. You WILL have friends. You can DO anything you want in this life no matter your 'orientation'. I have an amazing group of friends, gay, straight, whatever. Remember one thing... always be TRUE to yourself. You'll be amazed where your path leads you if you never forget that.

{**************************} HUGZ to you all!!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Thought provoking


[December 2006]

The will to greatness clouds the mind
consumes the senses, veils the signs
we each are meant to recognise
Redeeming graces cast aside
Enduring notions, newfound promise
that the end will never come

We live in times when all seems lost
But time will come when we'll look back
upon ourselves and on our failings
Embrace the void even closer still
Erase your doubts,
as you surrender everything

We possess the power
if this should start to fall apart,
to mend divides, to change the world
to reach the farthest star
If we should stay silent
if fear should win our hearts,
our light will have long diminished
before it reaches the farthest star

Wide awake in a world that sleeps
Enduring thoughts, enduring scenes
the knowledge of what is yet to come
From a time when all seems lost
From a dead man to a world
without restraint unafraid and free

If we fall and break
all the tears in the world
cannot make us whole again

copyright © vnv nation - all rights reserved

So that is a song by VNV Nation. I love the lyrics. In a reflexive mood right now. I need to look inside and see if what was there was really what I wanted. I set myself off as a positive force in this universe and will see where the winds blow me.

HUGZ to you all {****************************} Thanks for allowing me this time.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Damn you Steve Jobs

Ok I thought I was over the Apple lust that boils inside me, I was wrong. I got through the iPad fever when I realized that without a cam on it I didn't have a real reason for getting one. I have my DROID and no longer want an iPhone. (This may change with the 4G networks and if Apple ever drops AT&T as the exclusive carrier for the iPhone in the US.) Today I read that Apple quietly refreshed the Mac mini and the thing that is a major selling point for me is the HDMI port. I could use my 46" Sony Bravia TV as a monitor for it. $700 for a new kick ass computer that will display easily on my TV.....yeah there's that "I want my PRECIOUS" lust that Apple always can raise in me.

Do I just spring for the $1,000 server model and stream all my content direct to my TV and surround in the living room?? Audio out on the Mac mini would go direct into my receiver. With the 802.11n wireless built into the mini I wouldn't need the Airport Express out in the living room. If I go the server route it comes with two 500GB drives and I could just relocate my iTunes library to the mini from my Time Capsule. If I find I'm streaming content from the web to the TV I'll just run a hard wire from the Airport router in Chris's room to the mini to get the full high speed out of our Comcast internet.

I was totally thinking of getting me a new Macbook Pro just because the latest refreshes in that series makes my mouth water. The top of the line with the Intel Core i7 processor really drive my inner geek crazy. My current Macbook Pro (15" version) that's going on 5 years old now still works perfectly fine so I don't really NEED a new laptop.

Minus to getting the Mini and hooking it up in the living room would be no built in iSight camera. However with the four USB2 ports on the mini it would be nothing to hook up my old Intel web cam. :-) Even going with the server version of the mini it saves me $1,000 over the Macbook Pro.

See the problems that geeks face?? I think I know my final answer to this one. Look for another post around the end of July to see if I bit the bullet or decided to spend my money on some other toy.

HUGZ to you all!!!!!! {******************************}

Friday, May 28, 2010

More randomness

So I have this dream, it's a recurring dream. I don't always get to this place in the same way, but I always know it when I arrive. I visit this place from time to time. I know not where it is, but the people are always the same and they are always happy to see me. They grow, age, live their lives, I am but a visitor there yet it's like I've done something major in the past. I don't understand it but it sure feels like more than a dream, it's like I am visiting somewhere. I've never 'felt' weather in a dream, yet in this place I do. I feel the wind blowing, the temperature, etc.

Yes Google is my friend, but I never can find anything when I search for dream meanings. Just the standards of 'falling' and so many other things that I can't ever say I've ever dreamed of. The falling one is fun though, the 'wake up before you hit the ground' doesn't seem to hold for me. I've hit the ground many a time when dreaming I'm falling and I'm still here. It does tend to wake you up though.

Just been on my mind so thought I'd get it out here in the blog and see what I make of it when it's in print.

I remain a Gentleman, even after the first date.

HUGZ to you all!!!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Vetrans Lobby Day

Today is the day that thousands of Vetrans, both gay and straight, converge upon Washington D.C. for Vetrans Lobby Day. A day to show support for the repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in the Military. I would have loved to be there and hear the speaches, show my support, etc but I found out way to late about this day to get there. I have taken action, and you can do it as well. You can call your Senators, and Representatives and tell them you support the Vetrans Lobby Day, and the repeal of the Don't ask don't tell policy.

You can elaborate as much or little as you feel. They will probably ask for your zip code to ensure you live in their District. It only takes a few minutes, but if we can have their phone lines flooded it will show the support of the American public to allow EVERYONE to serve openly and honestly in the Military.

It wasn't until I was in the Army that I fully realized my sexual orientation. I knew that was something I HAD to keep hidden while serving my country. Given my specialty and the fact I carried a Top Secret security clearance had I not hidden that part of my life a Dishonerable Discharge would have been swiftly coming my way. Things would not have been good.

I don't want to get too deep here, but this is certainly something that is near and dear to me. I have called Rep George Miller, who co-sponsored the bill to repeal the don't ask don't tell policy. I have also called Senators Fienstein and Boxer urging them to work on repealing this discriminatory policy. Please take 10 minutes of your time today and call your Representative in Washington DC.

{******************} HUGZ to you all~!!!!!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Dangerous surfing

So I'm surfing around and land on one of my favorite toy sites. B&H video. I'm looking at lenses for my camera and checking prices on the new Olympus dSLR bodies (I've got the eVolt 500 and love the pics I'm getting with it) and find that the latest and greatest the e620 is only $499. Then I check out lenses and find a nice fast zoom that will replace the one that came with my original e500 is $995. There is a nice wide angle zoom for $600. As you can see I don't have cheap toys. The two new lenses will run about $1650 and if I find the extra $$$ I can get the new body and have a whole new set up for just over $2000. The sweet part of this the lenses will work with the e500 and the e620.

I've come to the conclusion that I need about $10,000 so I can get all my new toys and also do the work in the back yard this year. Since I don't see where the $10,000 will just drop out of the sky looks like I get to prioritize the expenses. The back yard work needs to come first. Built in BBQ and fire pit will make it really nice for the summer. Then I can worry about a new laptop (15" macbook pro), and the new photo gear.

The camera I have is only 8 mega pixels, but it being a digital SLR the photo quality is way better than a comparable point and shoot. Anyway I'm going through my photos and enlarging many to 8x10 size to put up around the house. The initial project was an idea to hide the speaker wire running along the wall from my surround sound system. I've gotten that done and it looks pretty amazing. I left space between the photos so it looks like they are actually hanging from the wire. Now I'm looking to enlarge others to poster size. (16x20 and up) to fill in the blank walls in my house. I figured I should use my photos to decorate my house. I've found a decent place online where I can get some enlargements done for a reasonable price. So if ever you come to visit my place just know that the majority of the photos you'll see on my walls are ones that I took.

Off to figure out something to eat and then prolly watch a movie tonight. Back to the grind and the middle school production of Grease next week!!

{*******************} Hugz to you all!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Acai Berries

Here it is taken directly from the fine print on a website that looks like it's a Health report from the local news station on the Acai Berry diet. The write up was amazing and I was tempted to do the 'Free Trial' and see what happens, then I read the following:

It is important to note that this site and the comments/answers depicted above is to be used as an illustrative example of what some individuals have achieved with this/these products. This website, and any page on the website, is based loosely off a true story, but has been modified in multiple ways including, but not limited to: the story, the photos, and the comments. Thus, this page, and any page on this website, are not to be taken literally or as a non-fiction story. This page, and the results mentioned on this page, although achievable for some, are not to be construed as the results that you may achieve on the same routine. I UNDERSTAND THIS WEBSITE IS ONLY ILLUSTRATIVE OF WHAT MIGHT BE ACHIEVABLE FROM USING THIS/THESE PRODUCTS, AND THAT THE STORY/COMMENTS DEPICTED ABOVE IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY. This page receives compensation for clicks on or purchase of products featured on this site.

Buyer beware

Friday, February 26, 2010

The Fool on a journey

I know I don't talk about the Tarot as much as I used to. It's still there and does help center me and really that's what I need some days. Anyway for my travels on this day as I was packing I came across my Fool pendant. I thought what a perfect thing to wear today. It fits. (this is what I mean about things always being there.) My first trip to Vegas, I set upon my journey just like the fool in Tarot.

Not too much more to put here. Just the thoughts that crossed my mind and I wanted to share. Yes I'll have the laptop in Vegas.... dunno if I'll ever be online. I do know that tomorrow night is gonna be a blast. Blue Man Group!!!!!

You all be good.. {*************************} Hugz to you all!
Keep that positive energy flowing....send some my way...

Friday, February 5, 2010

Never take even money

Yeah doing some study for the Vegas trip. Here finally is an article that says what I've always said. NEVER TAKE EVEN MONEY when you have a Blackjack and the dealer is showing an Ace.

Let’s say that you have a natural blackjack and the dealer has an Ace for an up card. You’re offered even money. Should you take it or not?

No, you shouldn’t.

You have the chance of winning a 3-2 payout. Why throw it away to settle for 1-1 blackjack payout? It’s kind of like having a winning argument and then backing down with meek deference.

So rather than take the even money you think you might want to insure your blackjack. You don’t want to do that either because it’s the same thing. You will come out with the same amount of money.

I’ll show you how this works. Let’s say that you have wagered $10 and you have that blackjack against an Ace. We’ll say that you take insurance on your hand, so you put forth $5. But it turns out that the dealer doesn’t have blackjack. He’ll take your $5 insurance bet…and then pay you $15. Now subtract the $5 you lost to insurance, and you’ll find that in reality your payout was only $10. Which is the same thing as taking even money.

See how it doesn’t matter whether you insure your blackjack or take even money on it?

Oh but wait! What if the dealer does have blackjack too and you have taken insurance? In that instance your blackjack would push his. And you would collect $10 on your insurance bet. It’s still the same $10 profit.

What even money does is simplify the steps in giving you the same amount you would win if you took insurance on your blackjack. But dealers don’t get a 10 for a hole card often enough to warrant taking insurance or even money in any case. Your best bet is to decline both and stick with your basic strategy.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Can this truly be?????

“No matter how I look at the issue, I cannot escape being troubled by the fact that we have in place a policy which forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens,” Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the Senate Armed Services Committee. He said it was his personal belief that “allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly would be the right thing to do.”

Oh what do my wondering ears tell me they heard???

Ok gotta keep this on the positive tip, gotta not get on the cynical soap box. Don't see it that there is a severe shortage of straight people enlisting and we've got two wars going on and they need BODIES!!!! No keep it on the positive tip and see that maybe, just maybe they've noticed that there have been Gays and Lesbians serving their country since the begining of the Armed Services.

Just know that the chairman of the Joint Cheifs of Staff, the Highest uniformed position in the United States, as said in front of God and Country that it is his belief that the ban on Gays and Lesbians serving in the Armed Services should be lifted. This wasn't an 'off the record' conversation at a cocktail party. This isn't some rumor that's circulating. This is REAL. I can watch it on youtube until the electrons float away. (Remember how you could wear out the VHS tapes if you watched them too many times?)

I thought for sure the Military would be a battle for down the road. Yet here it is starting at the TOP. I know I won't wake tomorrow and things will be changed, but this is a start. Honestly I am stunned.....and I'm at work so I'll leave this here and possibly pick up the thread when I get home tonight.

{*************************} HUGZ to you all. Keep that positive flowing. Amazing things DO happen.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Paranormal Activity

Ok so all I knew about this movie going in was that it was 'based on actual events'. I know that many people who did see it in theatres were pretty well shocked by it. It certainly did a number on my head after watching it last night. I bought it on Blue Ray dvd and wow. Seriously it's a fantastic movie. The research was really good, and trust me there is some factual stuff in there. I lived in a house with ghosts and other things for many years. I had several occurances of the clock radio turning on, lights, things banging around, etc. I once had an alarm clock that would go off at 12:15 am EVERY day. (that's 15 mins past midnight) Even when the alarm wasn't turned on. Even when the alarm was set for like 8 am.

I've had a few experiences with something not nice. I'd get times when my sheets would pull tight around me, and it felt like a wind blowing through them. The thing that did the number on me from the movie is the sound that came up on the tape when the demon was doing his thing... yeah that's the sound I heard when things happened to me. I'm talking DEAD ON for the sound. (bad choice of words???) Anyway the last time it happened was an interesting experience. I felt it coming on and it really seemed like it was going to be the worst one yet... I felt the fear rise up... and then that part of me that travels when I sleep raised up above the scene and I saw this point in the distance where all this energy was coming from. I could see it streaming out and enveloping me in my bed. It was so funny and I started to laugh, because there laying in my bed it seemed HUGE and overwhelming, but once I could see it from outside of that context it was pathetic. So I laughed, and laughed and that thing looked up directly at me. At that moment I realized that it had no power over me, and never would. Suddenly it all calmed down.

I always remember that, and it keeps me feeling good. NOTHING has power over me unless I let it have power over me. I can stand there and laugh at the unknown because it can't hurt me.

This is why I keep the positive going. I have no time or energy to invest in the negative. It gets you nowhere, and it lets the weak have power over you.

So am I saying that 'demons' and 'shadow people' and whatever else you want to call them do not exist? No they are there. They can only affect you if you let them. I have no time for their stupid games. I have no energy to waste on things like that. Interpret this how you wish. It sure sounds a lot like the good and evil from the Bible. I see it differently, and know that I am blessed. We are all blessed when we keep to the positive and do not dwell on the little stuff. The world is what you make it, so what kind of world do you live in?? Stop for a moment and ask yourself that question. Sit and think about it.

HUGZ to you all. {**************************************} my positive energy going out to you all.

Friday, January 22, 2010

El Nino!!! The terrible!!!

Yea the title there is just a little something for me. If you live in California you know all about it. If you live anywhere else you've prolly heard about all the rain, etc we've been having out here on the Left Coast. Been a pretty dreary week and I'm happy to say there is currently a break in the clouds and I can see blue sky. Sometimes you forget it's there above the clouds. I bring you news of the weird...

The 1023 overdose event

Click the link there and see for yourself. I guess the skeptics will be ok but what if one of the people there actually does believe in the stuff and they are taking an overdose... could their mind make it true??? (Matrix stuff there)

I also read about passwords and a study done on 32 million cracked accounts online. The top four passwords used in these 32 million.......
1. 123456
2. 12345
3. 123456789
4. Password
Seriously I didn't think anyone actually used password as a password. Here's the link to the article Password Study I thought my passwords were too simple and I find that actually they are decent. I do the alpha-numeric thing, although I do end up falling into easy patterns.

Just killing a little time at work by posting this. It was only a four day work week but dang did it go on forever. I did find some flooding in my new house. Half inch of water got into the garage. I'll have to go through it this weekend and see what's been wrecked and what can be saved. Guess I've put organizing the garage on the back burner for too long. Oh well anything ruined I didn't need, or it can be replaced. Not really gonna freak out over it. I got sand bags earlier in the week to barricade the doors that were leaking. The back yard turns into a lake. It does recede but when so much water comes down so quickly it does hang out for awhile. Some water got into the shed as well, and I'll have to see what got ruined out there. I know one box of wrapping paper got soaked, but we've had that paper for years and years and years and years and wrapping paper is not that expensive to buy. I've been wanting some new stuff anyway.

HUGZ to you all!!!!! {*********************} Have a fantastic weekend where ever you are, and remember put that positive energy out into the world. It will come back to you a million times over.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

New Year

Happy New Year to all!!!

So I did no bowling over my two week break, but it didn't seem to affect me too much. Last Thursday was our fun night. Sheets up over the lanes just past the arrows so you couldn't see the pins. It was a good thing cause it made you focus on your approach, follow through, and hitting your mark. All the things I've been working on since I set my goal.

It's fun night so the first game was 8 pin no tap (8 or more pins on the first ball scores as a strike), second game was 9 pin no tap, and the last game was regular bowling. I shot 268, 230, 236. As you see I shot 6 pins higher in regular bowling than in the no tap. Looks like things were working well in me putting the ball on the lane. The scores don't count toward average, or wins/losses it was our mini sweeper. Men vs Men, and Women vs Women. I shot a 764 with my handicap. My nephew shot a 300 his first game (five real strikes the rest were no taps) and had an 811 series with his handicap. He only had like 52 pins handicap. So he's got his game improving also. I've gotta stay on top of my stuff to beat him. It's a friendly rivalry, but I do have the lead in games won for the season. There's $100 riding on that one, and I'm gonna do my best to make sure I win. :-)

I'm pretty sure I'm just going to focus on using the Black Widow Venom, and my Ebonite Playmaker through the rest of the season. I've got my White Dot spare ball, so I don't see myself buying any new balls this year. I've got some damn good equipment, why buy more and get confused?

It felt real good bowling. You could drop down after your threw your ball and see it roll down the lane. Many of the shots I threw rolled so nice down that lane. It was good to see the ball do what it's supposed to. I even picked up a couple of 10 pins in that last game. It goes to prove that you don't need to see any more than 20 feet or so of the lane. What happens in that last 40 feet is a direct result of how the ball is sent down the lane. Good approach, bend your knee, stay behind the ball, follow through, reach out, hit your mark. You do all that and it's hard to beat. It's the mechanics of it all. There is no one 'right' way to do it. You find a style that is comfortable for you, and you do it every time. I use a five step approach, because that works for me. My nephew uses only a three step approach. When our balls hit the pocket, the result is the same. He can have those pins dancing around just as much as I.

So it's fun having someone push me as much as my nephew does. He's really impressed me before the break, and again last Thursday. Weeks when he shot a bad game and would give up. Not so anymore. He's figuring out what he's doing wrong, and correcting it.

Ok I've got some things to do, and heading out. You all have a great one!!!

{****************} HUGZ to you all.